Comforter

(Originally posted September 17, 2016)

Do you know who is the Comforter?

Somehow I think we have a knowledge of God being our comforter, but unless we're at a point where it's only completely necessary in our lives to let him comfort us, we don't really know the full extent of just how much of a comforter he is.

I must confess, this will of God's is as much of a trial as it is a blessing. Anosh and I have been called out to follow the Lord's will. We are only listening. Our lives, this stepping out in faith, takes courage and sacrifice, it takes a peace that only comes from God. Some days I just cry. But I want you to know also, that as much as God has called me to, I'm still a human being with feelings and hardships. So yes, even though God has revealed his will to me, and I'm so very blessed in it, I can sometimes cry over the ridicule I get put through. But I'll also have you know, that Jesus catches my tears and gives me hope and renews my strength. How wonderfully amazing is that?

Anosh is so very wonderful to me as well. The days where it hurts and I cry, has been a glimpse into the future of how this godly man will love me and lift me up and pray for me and whisper words of hope into my ear. God has been so good to me to give me him. He really is amazing and I simply cannot wait to take this step of faith and call this man my husband underneath the alter.....

Jesus redeems us and has a future for us. Each and every one of us, even all mine and Anosh's supporters and skeptics alike. God is love and he has a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11) to bring us.

I think my mind hasn't quite wrapped itself around the true reality of just how many lives around Anosh and I, that this will affect. I will be praying for those around us and for your minds to be renewed. For you to see what the Lord has for Anosh and I and for you to want what the Lord has for you.

Courage and Trust In God

(Originally posted September 11, 2016)

Some of you know I've been facing some hard decisions with what God is calling me to do. And condemnation. Somehow though I can be strong among all the ridicule. Do you want to know how I can? God. He gives me strength.

That day God spoke to me and told me this is what He's calling me to do, God has never spoke to me like that before. All I could do is cry and praise. He called me by my name and said "Come." So I'm going.

Does that make this easy? No. But besides God being my ever constant unwavering guide, Anosh directs me back to Him, our God, when I cannot stop crying. It's completely biblical. He loves me like Christ loves the church. You should see his face when he sees my crying. He is saddened, he wants to make me happy. And many of you have asked if I love him. My answer is yes. I love Anosh. God has given him to me.

I'm human. I've made some very real mistakes. I have human emotions, thoughts, reflexes. And I must confess I haven't given God complete control of my life until a couple years ago.....and recently I've prayed for the remaining pieces of myself to just completely live for Christ. All the trust and faith I have to be enhanced. I'm ready Lord. Take me. And now He has called. So Lord, I am coming.

Now I just have to have courage for what is near that God is calling me to do. And trust. And peace. The peace I have is peace from God. One even I cannot fully understand. As more and more comes together, I can look back at every piece of the puzzle of my life and see and understand, I was born for this. The level of assurance I have about this, surpasses even my comprehension. I don't expect you all to understand this either. We just trust now, and pray. Pray, pray, pray.

Love

(Originally posted September 8, 2016)

So, I want to explain a little bit of what I've experienced about love. At the beginning of the summer, God was improving my prayer life. There were all kinds of opportunities that came up with every aspect of my life. Between my friends, family, work, every little thing, there was an opportunity for me to pray. And as this progressed, God was showing me and revealing different truths about Himself to me.

There was an opportunity that came up where I started praying for a girl who is like a younger version of myself. So from the first time I felt God calling me to start praying for her, it began this whirlwind of emotions and also growth. Every day all day long, I felt this need to pray pray pray for her. I'd wake up praying for her and throughout my day and then before I went to sleep. I dreamt of things of my past that I'd long forgotten, that pertained to her now, and knew specific things to pray for. At the end, I felt this need lifted off me. I had prayed for her for 40 days.....The need to pray for her wasn't there anymore. At the beginning when I started praying, I just had a general care for her. Towards the end, God gave me a love for her like no other. Mind you, I had never met this girl, still haven't. But I'll have you know, she's alright. She's going to be alright. In fact I whole heartedly believe her life will be great. She'll do great things. And God taught me something about prayer I didn't know before. God changes you through prayer, changes those around you. I now have this godly love for her.

So, my answer to everyone's looming question: do you love Anosh? Yes! Yes! Yes! One, I feel like I've always been meant for him and two, God has given me a love for him. This man is mine and mine alone. It's a match made in heaven. From my beginning days and his too, we were always meant for each other. And now the time has come where we're about to embark on the journey of our lives. This love shows me a thing or two about God's love for me as well. His grace upon me, to have the very best for me unfold before my eyes. His very makings for my life. How breathtaking is that?

Spreading The Word

(Originally posted September 6, 2016)

So, many of you reading this will know I'm about to take a step in faith and follow where God is leading me, to be a missionary and move to India. What you don't know is that I'm also getting married. Yes, you read that right, getting married.

Spreading the word about everything at this date that I post this is slow. Mainly because my Dad does not know yet. As I've been praying, my telling him keeps being halted. So I'm going to start now in just blindly trusting the Lord's timing. Maybe the wait to tell my Dad will be a good thing in the long run. Some of you I only told half the story to, the missionary part. Until my Dad knows though, spreading the word will continue to be slow.

Reactions! As to be expected, I've already had both good reactions (those who are happy for me) and bad reactions (those who really think I've lost it now). Through it all so far though, the Lord has been with me and has given me strength to explain to everyone what is happening. The more I pray and read and do and listen for the Lord, the more reassurance I get in the fact that this is what I was born to do. That this is what I've prayed and waited my whole life for.

Every seemingly small detail in my life has just finished being fit together. All the things from the time I was small (always having this love for India) to the little desires of my heart (to be a wife, mother, missionary, midwife) they are fitting and being fulfilled. But its such and example of God's love! How He has been weaving along this whole life story of mine, and its so breathtaking to me. Even though I'll be the first to admit to you and tell you I know I do not deserve God's grace, He is loving enough to forgive me of all my sins and still bless me with such an amazing life. And though this love story building between Anosh and I here on earth is one for the books, the only greater love story that is also building is the one between me and God. I mean really? Who am I that I deserve even half of this? And Jesus knew of the atrocities I'd still commit. Yet He, like the most loving Father, continued to love and weave away at my life, building a love story that would not only catch up Anosh and I, but literally everyone around us.